thanksgiving

A few years ago I read The Hiding Place and in all honesty I really didn’t enjoy the book at the time. It was too wordy and detailed for me, and just a little too depressing. But, as per usual, this thanksgiving we went around in a circle and said what we’re thankful for from this past year we had. This past year was by far the hardest year of my life. I was hit with family issues, friend issues, and health issues so basically no matter where I went- I was followed by these struggles. While trying to think of what I was thankful for, this book came back to my mind, and this is why:

In the book, one of the main characters says she’s thankful for the diseased fleas that are biting and killing her and her loved ones as she speaks. Directly after, one of the other main characters describes how confused she is because she has no clue how or why she would be thankful for the very thing that was killing them. Later on, she found out that the fleas were keeping the guards from coming in and killing and torturing them. They managed to escape and help tons and tons of people. The thing that was killing them ended up being a blessing.

Moral of the story: I’m thankful for the burdens God put in my life this year, because without them, I wouldn’t be close to half the people I am today, and I wouldn’t be as strong as I am.

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When God Is Silent

This past weekend I had the chance to go on a retreat and, for starters, get really close with some great people. The purpose of this post is the message I liked the most, though. It was “when God is silent”. The whole topic made me start thinking about how I actually react when God is silent. I’m not quick to seek Him out and find Him in situations. I’m quick to do quite the opposite by finding everything I feel that I can’t see Him in (which is 100% wrong to begin with but that’s another story). When God is silent, so am I. I don’t seek to talk to Him or even think about Him, I seek quick fixes and wallow in my sadness. I want to challenge myself to be as loud as God can be (not possible but that’s why it’s the goalπŸ˜‰) when He is being silent in my life. I’m not asking for answers, I’m asking to see Him in the situation.

Appreciating What We Have

Today, I helped out in feeding the homeless. You see tons of people come up and take the food and say thank you and yes, that feels good but that’s not what moved me. After most got their food, we walked around and talked to the different people. It really makes me realize how much I have and that I take it for granted a lot of the time. I listened to a man talk about the feeling of a warm shower and bed to sleep in and how nice that was. He described that it was comfy to sleep on a piece of cardboard at night, and that he could sleep just fine. Most of those people explained it in a way that showed how appreciative they were of these meals, and that they were just fine. Here I am complaining about the dumb stuff half the time when they don’t even say a word. Twas a lovely day, and a lovely eye opener.

Sometimes, You Have To.

Sometimes, you have to. Sometimes, you have to eat when you’re sick because you know it’ll make you feel worse if you don’t. Sometimes, you have to work even when you feel you’re too tired. Sometimes, you need to end a friendship because it’s more toxic than uplifting. Sometimes, you have to apologize even when you don’t want to.

Sometimes, you have to have faith that things will work out the way God planned, even when it seems impossible.

Sometime…

You have to.

People Do Care

Time to share more memories from this past retreat I went on. πŸ™‚

We had times where we were assigned small groups and that’s when we would share our thoughts on the previous lesson and share prayer requests. When it came around to share what I struggled with lately, and I felt the need to really share what’s on my heart. Being the emotional person I was, of course I was crying. As I shared about the times I felt lonely and like nobody cared about me, quite a few of them cried as well. I sat at a table and saw 9 girls hearts breaking for me and I don’t think I will ever be able to get that image out of my head. Moral of the story: People Do Care.

Retreat

This past weekend I went on a retreat. I was quite nervous, whether people could notice or not, about having a reaction from my medical issues. I was surprised to find myself feeling sick but not even caring half of the time. I’m big on comfort, so I’m used to stopping something if it means I feel better in any ways at all. Usually if I’m having horrible stomach pain, I stop singing during worship; But, like I said, this time I didn’t seem to care. I had an amazing time hanging with a great group of friends that I love to death. Lately in my life, I haven’t been able to say this very much, but God was definitely there. I have a long way to go but it’s worth, isn’t it?

I Was Dying

This is the name of my current favorite quote. I spend a good portion of my time searching quotes and writing them down.Β tumblr_nevttl71wm1r5vd4bo1_500

There’s the quote. This one really hit me hard because it truly describes how so many feel sometimes. I feel this way sometimes. We shouldn’t want to rush through life because it is the little moments that we hate now that were going to miss the most. Make the most of life. Enjoy the little things. Don’t be afraid to move on in life, but don’t waste your time where you are right now.

I Love You

Since I haven’t posted in a long time this post may be a little long; so sit back, grab your coffee, and listen to what I have to say. First off, thank you guys SO much for all the support you’ve given me in the past year! I couldn’t have gone as far as I have without you guys. With this being said, I love you guys and this post is going to be about you.

Love is a strong word. Sometimes it’s overused, sometimes it’s underused, and sometimes its not used at all. But one of the worst scenarios possible is better to use to make someone feel good when it’s not meant truly. We don’t always think about it but love is a very strong word and can make a big difference in somebody’s life. So next time you tell someone you love them think about the meaning of love and if it’s really true to you. This post was about you guys to show that when I say I love you I really do and you all mean so much to me. Once again thank you for all the support you’ve given me throughout this previous year. You have helped me grow in my relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ.I am looking forward to many more blog posts, many more followers, and many more like lessons and experiences with Jesus. πŸ’–