thanksgiving

A few years ago I read The Hiding Place and in all honesty I really didn’t enjoy the book at the time. It was too wordy and detailed for me, and just a little too depressing. But, as per usual, this thanksgiving we went around in a circle and said what we’re thankful for from this past year we had. This past year was by far the hardest year of my life. I was hit with family issues, friend issues, and health issues so basically no matter where I went- I was followed by these struggles. While trying to think of what I was thankful for, this book came back to my mind, and this is why:

In the book, one of the main characters says she’s thankful for the diseased fleas that are biting and killing her and her loved ones as she speaks. Directly after, one of the other main characters describes how confused she is because she has no clue how or why she would be thankful for the very thing that was killing them. Later on, she found out that the fleas were keeping the guards from coming in and killing and torturing them. They managed to escape and help tons and tons of people. The thing that was killing them ended up being a blessing.

Moral of the story: I’m thankful for the burdens God put in my life this year, because without them, I wouldn’t be close to half the people I am today, and I wouldn’t be as strong as I am.

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In Their Eyes

I’m pretty sure anyone can agree that on a daily basis we see people and compliment them on how they look because we genuinely think they look good, but they just can’t see it themselves. It’s such a simple concept to just like the way you look whether it’s on a daily basis or just especially that day, yet we have so much trouble saying it let alone believing it. How come our brains can wrap our brains around the concepts of gravity and quantum physics but God forbid someone tells us we look good in a shirt and we look at them questioning their entire existence for liking it? We make no sense and I don’t think anyone will ever be able to explain the human brain. Life would be so much easier if everyone could see themselves the way others see them, wouldn’t it?

When God Is Silent

This past weekend I had the chance to go on a retreat and, for starters, get really close with some great people. The purpose of this post is the message I liked the most, though. It was “when God is silent”. The whole topic made me start thinking about how I actually react when God is silent. I’m not quick to seek Him out and find Him in situations. I’m quick to do quite the opposite by finding everything I feel that I can’t see Him in (which is 100% wrong to begin with but that’s another story). When God is silent, so am I. I don’t seek to talk to Him or even think about Him, I seek quick fixes and wallow in my sadness. I want to challenge myself to be as loud as God can be (not possible but that’s why it’s the goalšŸ˜‰) when He is being silent in my life. I’m not asking for answers, I’m asking to see Him in the situation.

Care

Caring is caring. When you stop talking to a person because they’ve hurt you in some way, that doesn’t mean either of you stop caring. Sometimes things seem to be too distant or too far gone for you to care about them, but the thoughts still creep into your mind about it. Slowly and surely, if you believe in giving people chances, you’ll see a hope in them. That hope makes you want to keep trying to help them, even if it seems hard or they push you away. You never know what’s going on in people’s lives, and you could definitely make a change.

Scars.

A few months ago, I was talking to a friend about something I was struggling with in my faith while we were sitting by a lake. The point of being there was to actually go in, so everyone had bathing suits on. I sat and talked to her and I noticed that, as she was telling me her experiences in life, the tops of her legs were covered in scars. They were remnants left behind of battle wounds. They didn’t remind me of normal scars, though. She wore them in a way that showed she wasn’t proud to have them, but she was proud that they’re no longer battle wounds, and now they are scars. Scars meaning she put that behind her and said “No, I’m stronger than this”. The immediate thought that popped up into my mind that I had never thought of before was that scars are white for a reason. There may be doubts in my mind that God is there for me, but that day showed me that God made her scars beautiful and pure white where the crimson blood stains that had once been there were now gone; and he can do that to the scars on my heart too.

Another Quote

So I was on Pinterest (yet again) today and I saw a quote that made me think. It says “only grow thoughts in your brain that you wouldn’t mind putting in a vase”. I like the quote to begin with, because I love plants. But thinking about it brought me back to sitting in my 7th grade Bible class and being told to do things as if God were sitting next to me. If He was there, we wouldn’t be doing half the things we do or saying half the things we say. I like this because it’s true. God is always next to us, even though we can’t see Him.

Looking Back

I started this blog after finding inspiration from a relative who loves to blog as well. I see her as someone I look up to and admire the effort she put into her writing. Many say that they start things like this and that they’ll want to go back later and read them because they think it’ll help them take their own advice. I always found that cliche, like it came right out of some hallmark movie (which I’m looking forward to investing my time in this Christmas). But tonight I went back and read some of my posts just to see what I’ve embarrassed myself with on the internet this time. It came to my surprise that I actually have more of an understanding of what I wrote now than I did then, and I can think deeper into the situations I wrote about. I actually got something out of my own writing and I never found that would be possible, but at the same time it’s what I’d hoped for. The last thing that I got out of my work was hope. I see hope as the underlying message of what I’ve written and I’m looking forward to writing more.

I’m hoping to actually get around to writing more but tis the season for school to begin.

Finding A Way

Most of the time, we resort to giving up when something doesn’t go the way we wanted it to. We tend to focus on the things we can’t do, instead of the things we can do. Take going on a diet, for example. We rant on and on about all the things we can’t have anymore, instead of talking about all the things we can stillĀ have. Joni Eareckson Tada and Bethany Hamilton are two perfect examples of someone finding the things they can do. When Bethany lost her arm, she lost many normal functions we don’t really think about. But, she persisted and can surf just as well as she did before the accident. Joni was paralyzed from the shoulders down, which cut off most abilities that we have. She utilized what she could do, and became an extremely skilled artist by putting the brush in her mouth and painting that way. We look through the perspective of a keyhole- if we don’t look in the perfect shape of that keyhole, all we see is black. We need to start looking in the dark so we can expand our vision.

Colors

I’m not sure where half of my blog posts are even coming from because I find inspiration in the oddest things. Last night I went to a church event and decided to wear something different than usual (sweatshirt and jeans all the way woo). I wore a flannel with jeans and a cute tee and felt pretty accomplished with life, but everything I had on was either dark blue or black. I felt like I needed something with color so I proceeded to wear bright, yellow converse and I was pretty content with my clothing choice. Going forward quite a few hours, this morning after going to church with a close friend, I went to Chipotle and ordered a lovely, colorful food. Little things like color make me happy because I feel accomplished (don’t ask why because I don’t know either). Anywho, I found inspiration to do things in the colors of the days, where do you find yours?

You Did Your Best

I found a quote some time ago and just now it really made me start to think about why I kept it in my phone.Ā The quote is between two people talking, and it states:

“What’s the most important thing you’ve done this year?”, and the second person replied with the words, “I survived”.

You did your best. If your best is going one day without eating that chocolate you know you shouldn’t be, spending anĀ hour without biting your nails, or being able to say you haven’t cut yourself since Monday, then you should be proud. If your best is being drug-free for a whole year, exercising for an hour everyday, or following your eating limitations every single day, then you should be proud. Whether your best is or isn’t someone else’s best means nothing. Our standards should never be based on another person because no two people are the same. There’s no issue with the situation if you know you’re doing your best, but if you can, always strive to. Don’t overdo yourself, but show your issues who’s the boss and you’ll see just how strong you really are.

ps. I still reaaaaalllyyyy love you.