thanksgiving

A few years ago I read The Hiding Place and in all honesty I really didn’t enjoy the book at the time. It was too wordy and detailed for me, and just a little too depressing. But, as per usual, this thanksgiving we went around in a circle and said what we’re thankful for from this past year we had. This past year was by far the hardest year of my life. I was hit with family issues, friend issues, and health issues so basically no matter where I went- I was followed by these struggles. While trying to think of what I was thankful for, this book came back to my mind, and this is why:

In the book, one of the main characters says she’s thankful for the diseased fleas that are biting and killing her and her loved ones as she speaks. Directly after, one of the other main characters describes how confused she is because she has no clue how or why she would be thankful for the very thing that was killing them. Later on, she found out that the fleas were keeping the guards from coming in and killing and torturing them. They managed to escape and help tons and tons of people. The thing that was killing them ended up being a blessing.

Moral of the story: I’m thankful for the burdens God put in my life this year, because without them, I wouldn’t be close to half the people I am today, and I wouldn’t be as strong as I am.

stressed but blessed

As I lay here ready to fall asleep (which is crazy for me to go to bed this early like what? I have things to do right now) I’m looking back at the past few months and the upcoming weeks I have. This September, October, and half of November flew by so fast. Even just 2016 in general has seemed to quickly slip away from me. Especially in the last few months, I’ve been busy up to my neck in school work and life and it seems as though I can never quite seem to find the right balance. As soon as I finish one project ahead of time (which usually doesn’t happen: the procrastination life is the life for me) about 4 more come in for me to do next on top of everything else life has to offer. I’ve been so blessed with the fun I’ve had this year, despite how rough it may have been to get through. I’m thankful to have gotten through this week with multiple tests and quizzes every single day on top of all the other work teachers pile on before break. I’m extremely excited that break is FINALLY here even though I only have one free day. Busy is overwhelming but I’m overwhelmed with happiness. God is so good to give us the busyness to keep our minds occupied, although it seems as though I sometimes feel too occupied for Him. I’m glad I had the opportunity to spend tonight catching up with my girls and talking about Jesus. Most of all right now, I’m thankful for this bed.
Stressed but blessed is my current feeling.

In Their Eyes

I’m pretty sure anyone can agree that on a daily basis we see people and compliment them on how they look because we genuinely think they look good, but they just can’t see it themselves. It’s such a simple concept to just like the way you look whether it’s on a daily basis or just especially that day, yet we have so much trouble saying it let alone believing it. How come our brains can wrap our brains around the concepts of gravity and quantum physics but God forbid someone tells us we look good in a shirt and we look at them questioning their entire existence for liking it? We make no sense and I don’t think anyone will ever be able to explain the human brain. Life would be so much easier if everyone could see themselves the way others see them, wouldn’t it?

When God Is Silent

This past weekend I had the chance to go on a retreat and, for starters, get really close with some great people. The purpose of this post is the message I liked the most, though. It was “when God is silent”. The whole topic made me start thinking about how I actually react when God is silent. I’m not quick to seek Him out and find Him in situations. I’m quick to do quite the opposite by finding everything I feel that I can’t see Him in (which is 100% wrong to begin with but that’s another story). When God is silent, so am I. I don’t seek to talk to Him or even think about Him, I seek quick fixes and wallow in my sadness. I want to challenge myself to be as loud as God can be (not possible but that’s why it’s the goal😉) when He is being silent in my life. I’m not asking for answers, I’m asking to see Him in the situation.

Care

Caring is caring. When you stop talking to a person because they’ve hurt you in some way, that doesn’t mean either of you stop caring. Sometimes things seem to be too distant or too far gone for you to care about them, but the thoughts still creep into your mind about it. Slowly and surely, if you believe in giving people chances, you’ll see a hope in them. That hope makes you want to keep trying to help them, even if it seems hard or they push you away. You never know what’s going on in people’s lives, and you could definitely make a change.

Sometimes, You Have To.

Sometimes, you have to. Sometimes, you have to eat when you’re sick because you know it’ll make you feel worse if you don’t. Sometimes, you have to work even when you feel you’re too tired. Sometimes, you need to end a friendship because it’s more toxic than uplifting. Sometimes, you have to apologize even when you don’t want to.

Sometimes, you have to have faith that things will work out the way God planned, even when it seems impossible.

Sometime…

You have to.

My Own Advice

Recently I’ve had the opportunity to help some people out with different struggles they’re going through. I see the things I read from The Word and learn as I go, so I’ve come to a conclusion I’ve known for a long time but never wanted to admit. It’s easy to tell someone advice on how to look at different aspects of their lives, but when it comes to ourselves, it’s totally different. I specifically talked to a girl struggling with self image. I told her my opinion and as I was writing it, I had the thought in the back of my mind that I REALLY need to listen to my own advice. But why is that so hard? I find it impossible to listen to my own advice no matter how much it may pertain to me. It made me think of what I’m really telling others to apply in their life, because I should say it like I was talking to myself. I also learned that I really need to listen to my own advice. Like, a lot.

You Did Your Best

I found a quote some time ago and just now it really made me start to think about why I kept it in my phone. The quote is between two people talking, and it states:

“What’s the most important thing you’ve done this year?”, and the second person replied with the words, “I survived”.

You did your best. If your best is going one day without eating that chocolate you know you shouldn’t be, spending an hour without biting your nails, or being able to say you haven’t cut yourself since Monday, then you should be proud. If your best is being drug-free for a whole year, exercising for an hour everyday, or following your eating limitations every single day, then you should be proud. Whether your best is or isn’t someone else’s best means nothing. Our standards should never be based on another person because no two people are the same. There’s no issue with the situation if you know you’re doing your best, but if you can, always strive to. Don’t overdo yourself, but show your issues who’s the boss and you’ll see just how strong you really are.

ps. I still reaaaaalllyyyy love you.

People Do Care

Time to share more memories from this past retreat I went on. 🙂

We had times where we were assigned small groups and that’s when we would share our thoughts on the previous lesson and share prayer requests. When it came around to share what I struggled with lately, and I felt the need to really share what’s on my heart. Being the emotional person I was, of course I was crying. As I shared about the times I felt lonely and like nobody cared about me, quite a few of them cried as well. I sat at a table and saw 9 girls hearts breaking for me and I don’t think I will ever be able to get that image out of my head. Moral of the story: People Do Care.