A few months ago, I was talking to a friend about something I was struggling with in my faith while we were sitting by a lake. The point of being there was to actually go in, so everyone had bathing suits on. I sat and talked to her and I noticed that, as she was telling me her experiences in life, the tops of her legs were covered in scars. They were remnants left behind of battle wounds. They didn’t remind me of normal scars, though. She wore them in a way that showed she wasn’t proud to have them, but she was proud that they’re no longer battle wounds, and now they are scars. Scars meaning she put that behind her and said “No, I’m stronger than this”. The immediate thought that popped up into my mind that I had never thought of before was that scars are white for a reason. There may be doubts in my mind that God is there for me, but that day showed me that God made her scars beautiful and pure white where the crimson blood stains that had once been there were now gone; and he can do that to the scars on my heart too.
A few days ago I went to a concert for Tenth Avenue North. Of course, I cried because they have relatable and emotional music. At one point in the concert, Mike looked me dead in the eyes and said “I don’t know about you, but I’m waiting for a miracle to happen”. Overall the concert was amazing and my favorite line of his was “I don’t believe in a God who resolves, I believe in a God who redeems”. Not sure what the point of this post was other than an update and fun experience.
So I was on Pinterest (yet again) today and I saw a quote that made me think. It says “only grow thoughts in your brain that you wouldn’t mind putting in a vase”. I like the quote to begin with, because I love plants. But thinking about it brought me back to sitting in my 7th grade Bible class and being told to do things as if God were sitting next to me. If He was there, we wouldn’t be doing half the things we do or saying half the things we say. I like this because it’s true. God is always next to us, even though we can’t see Him.
For the past few days I’ve had the pleasure of being at the beach. Of course there’s always the people who like to find shells along the shoreline, most of them being kids. Being the dork I am, of course I love to find them as well. I love taking long walks by myself and listen to my music while I watch all the people I pass. When I find really interesting shells, I like to give them to the little kiddies going past me just to see the happy expressions on their faces. Sometimes, you get a lot of joy when all you do is give a little.
Simple concepts. When we sit in a chair, we (most of the time) trust that it won’t break, even though we really don’t know if it will. When we look up at the sky, we trust that there are stars there, even when we can’t see them. When we think about getting up and getting food, we trust that we’ll be able to move our legs to get us there and that there’ll be food in our kitchen even though there’s a possibility it’s not there. It’s simple, that’s it. We believe these things because we have no reason not to believe it and it’s logical. So, why don’t we believe in God like this? When it comes to something like that, most look at it like its completely different but it’s not. You think it’s true so you believe it, you do the work to act upon it, and you see it’s true. Why is it so hard for people to believe then? Why are people so stubborn to believe in something that only makes our lives better yet it’s so easy to believe that there’s air around us that we can’t see. We’re a stubborn human race and we don’t have a reason to be when there’s a book with every answer possible.
Most of the time, we resort to giving up when something doesn’t go the way we wanted it to. We tend to focus on the things we can’t do, instead of the things we can do. Take going on a diet, for example. We rant on and on about all the things we can’t have anymore, instead of talking about all the things we can still have. Joni Eareckson Tada and Bethany Hamilton are two perfect examples of someone finding the things they can do. When Bethany lost her arm, she lost many normal functions we don’t really think about. But, she persisted and can surf just as well as she did before the accident. Joni was paralyzed from the shoulders down, which cut off most abilities that we have. She utilized what she could do, and became an extremely skilled artist by putting the brush in her mouth and painting that way. We look through the perspective of a keyhole- if we don’t look in the perfect shape of that keyhole, all we see is black. We need to start looking in the dark so we can expand our vision.
You’re not your number. You’re not the score you got on your last test. You’re not the number that defines your weight when you step on the scale every night to see if it changed yet. You’re not your age. You’re not the amount of texts you have when you haven’t been on your phone in an hour. You’re not the amount of money you possess. You are you and you’re not a number, you’re a human being and that’s the best thing you could be.
Today, I helped out in feeding the homeless. You see tons of people come up and take the food and say thank you and yes, that feels good but that’s not what moved me. After most got their food, we walked around and talked to the different people. It really makes me realize how much I have and that I take it for granted a lot of the time. I listened to a man talk about the feeling of a warm shower and bed to sleep in and how nice that was. He described that it was comfy to sleep on a piece of cardboard at night, and that he could sleep just fine. Most of those people explained it in a way that showed how appreciative they were of these meals, and that they were just fine. Here I am complaining about the dumb stuff half the time when they don’t even say a word. Twas a lovely day, and a lovely eye opener.
Sometimes, you have to. Sometimes, you have to eat when you’re sick because you know it’ll make you feel worse if you don’t. Sometimes, you have to work even when you feel you’re too tired. Sometimes, you need to end a friendship because it’s more toxic than uplifting. Sometimes, you have to apologize even when you don’t want to.
Sometimes, you have to have faith that things will work out the way God planned, even when it seems impossible.
You have to.