Lately I’ve taken a look at the different things I notice about myself, whether it’s the hobbies I have, the people I’m friends with, or the clothes that I wear. I tend to put myself down about some of those things because I try to live up to the worldly standards I see all around me. All my life I’ve been surrounded by dancers and actors and artists and singers and everyone else under the sun who have found their place when they were young and have stuck with that ever since. My main issue I found in myself from the start was that I never had any of those. I wasn’t the athlete or the musician and I certainly never focused on academics as my specialty, so I asked myself the same question year after year. What am I? If I’m not this or that, then what am I? Just by looking at simple things in my life, I can see little bits of diverse hobbies and styles that I take part in but never fully embrace. It’s taken me 16 years to realize this:
I’m a little bit of brainy and a little bit of how tired do you have to be to come up with that?, and I’m a little bit of 80’s style mixed with current trends, and I’m a little bit of “I need my time alone in the quiet” and a little bit of will she ever shut up?, and I’m a little bit of dressing nice and a little bit of repping sweatpants, and I’m a little bit of warm socks and a little bit of sunny days, and I’m a little bit of everything that I think I’d like to be, but that little bit of everything makes up the little me.